The Tension
In today’s episode, I want to talk about one of my favorite concepts around leadership, personal development, and life in general: tension. It’s a concept that I keep coming back to because, for me, it encapsulates so much of what we experience in our personal and professional journeys.
I’ve struggled for years with the idea of work-life balance. For some reason, the term “balance” never sat right with me. The idea of splitting life into neat 50/50 parts felt wrong, like I was trying to force something that wasn’t really natural. So, I started thinking, what if work-life balance isn’t the answer? What if it’s more about tension—living in the space where two things pull at each other and, in that space, we find clarity?
Exploring Work-Life Tension
When I think about tension, I realize it’s not just about work versus life, but about any part of our lives that feels like it’s pulling us in different directions. We’re constantly told we have to choose: Are you going to hustle and be successful, or are you going to rest and take care of yourself?
Why does it have to be either/or? Why can’t it be both? That’s when I started thinking about how tension might actually be the answer. The reality is that life isn’t a constant “either/or” situation. There’s a lot of gray area in between. It’s uncomfortable, but maybe it’s where the real growth happens.
Living in a World of Absolutes
We’re constantly fed with absolutes. It’s all around us: You’re either a Republican or a Democrat. You’re either a leader or a follower. You’re either successful or you’re not. It’s almost like society wants us to pick a side, and if we don’t, then we don’t belong anywhere.
But what if the truth isn’t in picking a side? What if the truth lies in living in that tension between both sides? Maybe it’s not about being right—it’s about being willing to sit in the discomfort of not knowing all the answers and letting both perspectives be true at the same time.
Embracing Discomfort and Growth
I’ve found that tension can actually be a great source of growth. I know it’s uncomfortable, but that tight feeling in your chest when you’re pulled in two directions—it’s a sign that something powerful is happening. We’re all used to trying to avoid discomfort, but what if that discomfort is exactly what we need to push ourselves to grow?
Life is both hard and beautiful. We can struggle and still find beauty in the struggle. We can experience pain and loss while also embracing joy. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
The Power of Vulnerability and Reconciliation
One of the best examples of this came for me recently with my kids. I lost my patience with them, and in that moment, I felt like I failed. I could have walked away, thinking, I’m a terrible parent, but instead, I chose to go back into their room, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.
I could let part of the story be true that I was impatient and frustrated. But what’s also true is that I showed up, took responsibility for my actions, and made amends. Both sides of that experience are valid. The tension doesn’t have to be negative—it’s just part of being human.
Balancing Confidence and Doubt
This is where I think the real power of tension comes in: learning how to balance confidence and doubt. We live in a world where we’re told we should either be confident or doubt everything, but in reality, I believe that both can exist simultaneously. It’s okay to be confident in what you believe and still hold space for uncertainty.
When I look at my life, I see both confidence and doubt working together, pushing me forward and keeping me grounded at the same time.
The Beauty of Holding Both Perspectives
There’s beauty in holding two perspectives at once. Life can be both difficult and rewarding. Leadership can be both about pushing forward and being vulnerable. Relationships can be both deeply fulfilling and challenging. The beauty lies in finding the balance between both—and allowing yourself to sit in the tension.
When we do that, we get a fuller picture of life. We get a deeper understanding of ourselves and those around us. And we get the clarity that comes from seeing things from multiple perspectives.
Conclusion
So, here’s my challenge to you today: Where in your life are you feeling tension? Where could you allow both things to be true at the same time? What if the answer to your current challenge isn’t about picking one side but instead about embracing the discomfort of holding both truths together?
I want to encourage you to think about that and explore the tension in your life. What if, by sitting in that tension, you can open up to a fuller, more authentic version of yourself?
Resources Mentioned
Join me for my upcoming leadership workshop at rockygarza.com/confidence
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rockygarza
