Values: Leading vs Coaching

Welcome to The Rocky Garza Show. Today, I’m exploring a critical difference that often gets blurred: leading with your values versus coaching with someone else’s values. When we confuse the two, we risk building teams that look and act like us–rather than teams made up of individuals who lead authentically as themselves.

If you’re already feeling that tension, then you’re in the right place. I’m actually hosting a leadership training this month on this very topic. You can find out more and register at rockygarza.com/confidence.

The Power of Core Values in Leadership

Your core values aren’t just decorative words or plaques on a wall. They are your internal compass–the foundation for how you make decisions, communicate, handle conflict, and find clarity.

Leadership is about stepping out first, with conviction, and inviting others to follow. That direction, that path, should be deeply guided by what matters most to you.

I’ve always said, you can’t borrow clarity; you have to find it yourself. Your values are where you start.

Defining What Your Values Really Mean

It’s not enough to say “I value authenticity” or “integrity” if your team can’t understand what those mean to you personally.

For example, my number one value is vulnerability. It’s not about always being perfect at it, but about embracing honesty, directness, and holding space for reality–not blind optimism or pessimism.

When I lead from vulnerability, the people aligned with that value stick around. Those who don’t, often move on–and that’s okay. Leadership is a dynamic relationship, and that’s part of the journey.

Coaching Through Their Values, Not Yours

Here’s where many leaders get stuck. We coach others as if they should have our values. We unintentionally expect them to think and act like us.

But coaching isn’t about replicating yourself. It’s about helping others become more themselves.

If I value risk but a team member values stability, coaching them to be more like me risks confusing and setting them up for failure. Instead, I need to appreciate their values and coach accordingly.

Insights from Family and Leadership

I often test my leadership and coaching approaches at home. My daughter values small, meaningful things, like carrying bracelets in a tiny purse. My son craves details and wants clear expectations, like knowing exactly when we’ll throw the baseball.

As a leader, it’s my job to adapt and support their values–not impose mine.

Challenge and Resources for Leaders

I encourage you to know the core values of your team. When you understand what matters to them, your feedback connects better, trust grows, and momentum builds.

Ask yourself: Do you know what your team values? What are their top 3–5 values?

Want to try this out? Head to https://www.rockygarza.com/values for a free core values exercise you can use with your team.

If you want to dive deeper, join my upcoming leadership training at rockygarza.com/confidence where we’ll explore these concepts in detail.

Remember, lead like you, not like them.